before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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