Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
