So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
