that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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