my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
