hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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