I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
