Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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