i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
