Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
