I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just want nice things and good sex
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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