I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
