is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
