Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
