No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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