no. you can't hotbox the world.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
