put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
