i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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