i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
