Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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