yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
