it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
