We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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