I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
