I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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