The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
