u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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