Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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