Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
