After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
