This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
