I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Randomize
