Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
