My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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