you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
