you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
