I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
