dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
