its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
