Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I believe in your delicious
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
