I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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