I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
