I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
