I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i came on her dog
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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