All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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