Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
