You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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