ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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