Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
