That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
